My mind needs peace so here’s another post. I wish I took a screenshot of the short-lived back and forth that occurred on Facebook yesterday. I’ll do my best though to reiterate what was said.

It started with one of my younger cousins asking why aren’t there any #bluelivesmatter posts after two officers had passed away the day before. They added a little sass to their post with a sentence pretty much saying “guess they have to be black in order to matter”…not verbatim, mind you, but that’s the gist.

I don’t normally respond to such posts but for whatever moronic reason, I responded to this one. There were a number of responses before mine telling him to calm down and that they just hadn’t read the news yet. Another retorted, “Guess you don’t have a lot of friends that are cops or family members of cops on your Facebook.”

I responded to him with the following:

People have been dying unfairly since the beginning. I don’t like it and the majority I’m sure don’t like it. I will do my best to remember those who died and pray for their family left behind. There will be people like you and me who will care about any decent and goodhearted being that breathes. As for those who don’t…to each their own. They are not our concern.

Note: I also care about those who no longer breath. That could be misinterpreted so I just wanted to clear that up.

I thought that my comment would be left alone like the others. But, no. In comes an older, highly-opinionated cousin who quips, “Yes teach their own. It’s not like we don’t have enough anti-police around.” I was a bit startled. Did he think I lived under a rock? I felt he completely missed my point, so I responded…in a vain attempt to clarify.

“I understand what you mean and I’m not supporting any ill-teachings. But what was posted won’t change the minds of those being referred to.” I went on to repeat that I already care about the lives of those lost and that he’s posting to his friends and family who also already care so what is said comes off as venting.

My response, of course, would be taken wrong either way since I’m implying that my little cousin is only venting.

The older cousin posts a more confusing response soon after. It seemed rushed and maybe he got angry at me, I’m not sure. He tried to type my name then failed but didn’t delete it. He then continued with a statement that poked at my mention of venting (pretty much saying I shouldn’t see it as venting) and finished with “but I guess you didn’t read what was said. but you know,” something something “black.”

That last message didn’t make much sense, right? My brain couldn’t make sense of it even in its exact wording so what’s seen just shows how my brain interpreted it. All I know is that the tone didn’t feel right. And I chose to stop responding.

I knew he wouldn’t respond well to anything I said. He works in law enforcement and he seems to have a lot of distrust and anger built up. I can’t blame him since he probably sees and experiences a lot first hand. But I can’t share his opinions.

I feel like what he said to me wasn’t needed. Maybe he felt what I added wasn’t needed either. I wasn’t trying to attack my younger cousin who had posted in the first place nor the older cousin who seemed to feel the need to passive aggressively put me in my place.

I just wanted them (my family) to know that I care. That they didn’t need to post stuff like this to people who already care. They don’t need to constantly prove their beliefs and opinions to people who know them well.

I’m a wary person. My trust is hard to gain. But I have a heart. I have empathy. I care about any one that is goodhearted. Even if I’m not included in their list of who to be kind and loving to. You’ll know who those good people are because their families love them with all their heart and soul. So I’ll remember them, pray and help in any way I can.

That’s all I wanted to get across.

My younger cousin understood and he said he wholeheartedly agreed with me. But he removed his post because he didn’t like seeing all the people he loves arguing with one another. Though I didn’t feel like I was arguing, lol. He said no one likes to listen on Facebook. He said what he posted was mere observation but said he saw where offense could be taken so he erased it.

As for my older cousin…we’ll say our “howdoyoudo”s and hug like we always do at every family together. But sadly, I don’t think we’ll ever see eye to eye *shrugs* which is fine.