I find it funny how after I had decided to angrily rant about everything taking so fek’n long to happen that things start to happen. The check I was on about last post was finally deposited by USCIS this past Monday. We got a receipt for it and Sean’s removal of conditional residency petition/form yesterday. So now that whole process begins.

As for my sciatica pain, I’ve reached another breaking point in healing. Other than stopping the use of the Glucosamine Chondroitin Turmeric MSM Boswellia supplement (since it had made me bruise as easily as a fruit) I’ve also stopped using Penetrex. The pain has become even more manageable so I felt a nice break was in order from all those medicinal things. Now I’m using coconut oil and massaging it into any aches and pains that arise.

Why coconut oil? My body always seems to react well to it. It healed my face after a horrible bout of psoriasis and it always helps my bruises diminish faster. Let it be known though that I doubt I would’ve felt any relief from any oil when the pain was horribly bad. I’ve been taking ages to heal and I have no idea how long it’ll take to finish healing. But I do feel the changes again.

vegaI’ve swapped the icky tasting Bone Broth Protein Powder (I’ve tried to keep taking that stuff but gahd it tastes bad) and started taking Vega One All-in-One Nutrional Shake. My body wasn’t getting enough of what it needed which was probably why my body and muscles always felt so weak. Sooo 1-2 times a day I have a glass of this sucker. I’m happy to say I feel stronger. I can actually roll off the bed and get up without feeling like my muscles and joints are going to disintegrate. It still takes awhile for me to actually stand up because I’m waiting for my spine to adjust but my muscle and joints do feel way better.

It’s crazy how much my body needs right now in terms of nutrients. I wasn’t keeping up with it previously so I pretty much caused my own relapse in the healing process. See, I was in a restless phase. I was tired of feeling pain and weakness and kept thinking more exercise would help but forgot I needed to eat more carbohydrates, protein and veggies than usual to make up for the increase in exercise and to help repair my muscles. I have to control my patience unless I want to make things worse again. 😦



The Waiting Game

I like to think of Fate as an entity. Something that dabbles in our lives as we walk the many paths we walk. Occasionally I’ll envision Fate as a mischievous imp that is purposefully throwing every thing it can at my face just for sport. *sigh*

As the name of my post suggests, I’m left waiting now for things to happen since I have no power in making anything happen faster. I’ve been waiting to receive a $5000+ bill for my surgery. Waiting for USCIS to finally start on our form I-751 and deposit the fek’n $680 check I sent them. I know they received that fek’n thing. USPS told me so ( ò_ó  ) But I have yet to see that check be deposited. I don’t like having to worry about making sure my account has enough money at all times for the day they finally deposit that check!

81K3VqEvJmL._SY679_I’m waiting for my back to finally overcome this herniated hurdle. It was getting better then drastically became worse. I didn’t realize one of the items in my regimen was the cause until I turned into a withered thing. Now I still stand by in that it helped me but it appears that there should be a time frame of how long one should use it and how many one should take. I had stuck to the suggestion of taking three a day for some time. The item is a supplement titled Glucosamine Chondroitin Turmeric MSM Boswellia.

I believe one of the ingredients was messing with my blood a bit too much. It got to the point where everything in me felt so weak and the slightest bit of pressure anywhere on my body developed a bruise. I’ve stopped taking it and figured whatever it was doing to my blood was also the reason why my muscles never felt like they were recuperating from my exercises and were becoming tighter by the day. If someone could explain that it was something else, I’d be more than happy to hear what it was so I can avoid repeating the issue.

After I stopped taking it and increased certain vitamins, my body isn’t struggling as much. I’m working on building muscle and strengthening them right now so my diet has become rice, chicken, and egg with vitamins here and there. Cutting the sugar intake by a lot now too. I had increased the sugar intake since I’ve been so up and down lately with worries. Couldn’t really help myself… 😦

The last thing I’m waiting for is my vacation. We’re planning on taking one around Fall/Winter time. Feels like it’s forever away. I’m just so tired of this busybody place and where I work. I just want to sit in the sand, feet buried, wind blowing and waves lulling me into a calm sense of security. I need something like that. Something that will naturally put me at ease.




So the scare that was last night has been brought to a close this morning after calling both my surgery center and my health insurance for an explanation of what happened. I still didn’t quite get the full picture when the billing lady at the surgery center was trying to explain. In fact, I accidentally misunderstood her thinking she said the amount they sent to my healthcare was $46-thousand-something-something and not the $82,825.04.

The call to my insurance was much more helpful. The representative there explained everything in detail about the claim they had sent. She also went above and beyond and spoke to the lady I had talked to at the surgery center to see if what they really meant to send was the $46,000. She said I could wait on the other line while all that was going on because I really did need the full story and she was nice enough to help me get that.

But yea, apparently my surgery center did originally bill $82, 825.04 (still shocking to see that amount) to my insurance. Anyone thinking of going to an out-of-network facility for a laparoscopy, be prepared for large sums of money to appear on your bill. And as it said in the letter from last night, my health insurance would only be able to cover $45,650.50. Leaving $37,174.54 to fall on my lap, right?

Well, it seemed the example of $2000-$3000 that my surgeon was telling me about was just that… an example. BUT they did keep to their word and said I wouldn’t get billed a crazy amount. They explained I would get billed the 10% co-insurance amount one would pay if they were in-network. So after all the crazy numerical hubbub, they’re only going to bill me $5052 which in my opinion is muuuuuuuch better than $37,174.54.

But good LAHDIE, they should forewarn their patients of the insane numbers they’d see at first! I get it now…that I’m just supposed to ignore the big numbers and just wait for their actual statement but that damned letter from my insurance’s patient advocacy service filled me with a shock I was not prepared for. My anxiety sent images in my mind of me and my husband living in a makeshift tent in the woods because this laparoscopy (that was actually done right since it was an expert surgeon doing it this time) turned us into paupers.

I’m seriously thankful they’re nice enough to not make me pay what actually is close to my previous yearly income (before I went part-time to tackle all my health problems.) Apparently, that’s not something that’s done often from what the insurance representative mentioned. Thank you, my surgery center, for not making your patients to go into debt.


And Boom Goes My Mind

Things were rolling a long pretty smoothly so I guess Fate wanted to throw some “DA FAHQ!?!” in the mix.

I need to write this out or my brain will implode. Seriously, I wish there were folks who could tell me if they ever dealt with this. *sigh*

I get home today and get a letter in the mail from my healthcare saying they have contracted with a company that helps healthcare payers manage the cost of care. Apparently, my laparoscopy costs $82,825.04…. yea… what?

This, of course, gave me a heart attack. My previous laparoscopies never cost THIS much so how come this one is outrageous???

The shitty part is that I have to wait all night until I can call anyone tomorrow morning about this. I’m going to call the surgery center folks and ask them what in the world is going on with this amount. That I was told that I’d end up paying $3000 not the possible $40,000+ that may occur should this go through without the surgery center correcting anything.

How the hell does an $11,000 procedure turn into $82,000?! It’s not like they installed another uterus in place of my own (is that even possible?)

I cried my eyes out while in panic mode. They’re currently dry and kind of hurt.

Sean did his best to calm me down. He said, “If this is a mistake we’ll handle it in the morning. If this is truly something we will end up owing, maybe we can work with them to pay in installments. It’ll be okay, love.”

I broke down again and apologized for even having this goddamned disease. If I didn’t have it, this wouldn’t even be happening. Again he told me everything will be okay and that I needed this procedure so we’ll do what we have to to make this work.


I feel like the Hulk just grabbed me from the legs, slammed me into the ground a few times like a rag doll, and left me in a crevice to wallow in my own self pity. Why can’t there just be a few months of calm? Why is life constantly throwing shit in my face? I just want peace. I wanted freedom from physical pain, so I went to the best GYN care surgeon, was assured all will be well and now I’m being shown that being temporarily free from pain comes at a huge price???

For fuck’s sake!!

I could’ve adopted two children with that amount!!!

– Jenn

Body Maintenance FTW

Went to the surgery clinic I had gotten my laparoscopy done at to have a belated post op appointment with my surgeon. Though he ended up having to rush to a surgery and assist with some emergency that was occurring in it (hope everything went okay with that!) Instead I met with one of their nurse practitioners who was really nice. She pulled out the last bit of fancy stitching that was still clinging to my belly button and checked all my incisions.

Everything healed up well and I haven’t had any issues with anything she had on the list of things to be worried about. Before leaving I asked if she could ask my surgeon which fertility clinic he mentioned last time and which doctor it was he had recommended to go to there (it had been awhile so I forgot.) She got back to me asap via email and after Sean and I got back home I set up an appointment to go see said recommended doctor on May 25th.

I’m sort of excited I’m finally moving forward in all this. Yea, I know IVF is hit or miss and I’ve complained about it before but really, it’s the only option I’m willing to take right now. The first thing I’ll even bring up though in the appointment is how much is this all going to cost. My surgeon gave me a wee bit of hope saying “Oh, you’re healthcare may actually help a bit with this…” after he saw which one I had.

If this thing costs a chunk and doesn’t work the first go, I’m done. I’ll have to find a birth control that least messes with me and start going on that. Even though I hate using birth control, it may be the only consistent help I can get in managing my endometriosis :\ And that shit likes to grow back quick in me.

NOTE: Anything I share (i.e. pics and links of the stuff I use) with you guys about health and pain relief isn’t meant to be an ad but if it’s something that’s actually helping me, I figured I’d share it for those it could possibly help.

penetrexSoooo, on another note, I started using Penetrex  for my herniated disc/sciatica pain. I had gotten it over a month ago but I wasn’t sure if it was actually working. The pain was so strong at that time I couldn’t really feel the relief so I stopped using it.

Then the whole arduous healing regimen began. When I could finally feel that my herniated disc issue was starting to improve and the need for pain killers wasn’t as intense, I brought Penetrex back into the mix.  It’s become my substitute for Tylenol at this point. Any spot that hurts, I use it on. And last night, there was one area near my left knee that was hurting so I rubbed it on there as well and the next morning I noticed something preeeetty interesting~ 😀

My varicose veins that I usually saw gathered in that area of my leg had diminished. There had always been a cluster there since college and now there’s a ghost of one left. I was like OMGAHD PENETREX YOU ROCK! I’M SORRY I DOUBTED YOU!!! It actually does help with my nerve pain too but it only worked best for me after I started to heal. It’s most effective when I massage it well into all the areas that hurt along my lower left half of my body.

I checked online to see if Penetrex was known for getting rid of varicose veins and found that it helped another user with theirs: B6 + Anti-Inflammation = bye bye painful varicose veins. Woot!