Crying

For awhile I’ve been feeling overwhelmed to the point of wanting to cry but the tears wouldn’t come. Now they’re here but I’m desperately trying to hide them since I’m stuck in a public area.

Unknown bills have been whirling in my head since that last post. Calling the surgical center seems fruitless really. They’re great with the before and during process of surgery but everything after they suck at communication-wise. The billing guy is never there and the front desk ladies have that “I don’t have time for this” tone.

I had to endure that tone again this morning with the same lady as before. I called for a different reason though. Mind you, I’m not calling every day for things. I called a few times in one day a few months ago. That day I talked to three different people so I could talk to who I needed to talk to about the main surgery bill. After three months, I called the day I saw the random claim only asking if they had sent the bill yet and finally again today in search of my operation notes.

So yea, I told her I needed my operation notes but could not find them in my online health profile. She left me on hold three times. Second time she forgot and did the whole “Hi I’m blaa, how may I help you?” and I respond in with a twinge of sarcasm “I was put on hold for my operation notes, heh.” Heard her tone change and an exasperated noise come out of her and she put me on hold again. She later hurriedly admitted that the notes were not yet accessible to me before but they are now and finished with that whole have a good day thing.

The tears came from reading the operations notes:

  1. Laparoscopy, surgical; with lysis of adhesions (salpingolysis, ovariolysis) (separate
    procedure) (58660)
  2. Ureterolysis, with or without repositioning of ureter for retroperitoneal fibrosis (50715)
  3. Excision or destruction, open, intra-abdominal tumors, cysts or endometriomas, 1 or more peritoneal, mesenteric, or retroperitoneal primary or secondary tumors; largest tumor 5 cm diameter or less (49203)
  4. Chromotubation of oviduct, including materials (58350) Hysteroscopy, surgical; with sampling (biopsy) of endometrium and/or polypectomy, with or without D & C (58558)
  5. Cystourethroscopy, with dilation of bladder for interstitial cystitis; general or conduction (spinal) anesthesia (52260)

They did all of that. All of that was the reason I was in so much pain and couldn’t get pregnant (excluding the bladder part. Not sure what was happening there.) And now all that will probably equal to that dreaded $11000 that keeps popping up in my mind. Because that random claim is for real and the provider name is also in the operation notes. He was a surgical assistant who had removed the abdominal growth I had no idea about.

It’s like in those mythical stories. If you truly want something big, a heavy price must be paid. I wanted to be free from all that pain. And the price may be the baby I’ve always wanted. I can’t keep trying naturally because the endometriosis and growths will regrow; I’ll have to go on birth control to stop the regrowth. Fertility help was my last chance to have my own child and I wanted to get it done while I was young and still have half my egg supply!

I know, I know. I’m being over-dramatic. But… I can’t help it…

I just wish they’d send that damn bill so I know what to do next. If it’s not my body that’s in pain, it’s my heart. And I’m just so tired.

Sincerely,
Jenn

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