Mother of three dogs

Part of me is glad I don’t have a child yet. I would probably be dead within months if I did because the range of my freak-outs now just for my furbabies alone is over 9000.Ā  And every new freak out brings about more uncontrollable emotion and more tears.

Buddy gave me a scare yesterday.

I had ordered Thai food the day before and thought it’d be great to have a curry puff for brekky yesterday morning. The amount of curry stuffed into these puff pastries is about the size of a golf ball. Not a whole lot but a nice, delicious appetizer. I had eaten a third of mine before I had gotten up to check the door after there was a knock.

Low and behold, the Amazon delivery folk left a long awaited package for me. I picked up the package of puppy pee pads and enzymatic pet toothpaste and settled it down on the counter. I opened it to see if everything was in order and then a thought struck me. “Why are the dogs so quiet?” I usually close the bedroom door when I go to answer the front door so Buddy doesn’t end up barking down whoever dared to knock on our door. And while Buddy is stuck in the bedroom there is usually non-stop whining and howling.

But this time, it was complete silence.

Oh, god… my puff!

I rush inside the bedroom to see the remainder of my curry puff gone and Buddy right above the bowl it was in. He was still licking his chops when I cried out “NO!” and began my barrage of tears as I recalled that onions were in the curry puff. The dramatic equation my mind created is as follows: onions + cats/dogs = possible death.

Side note: Honey was safe and sound in her crate during all this. She takes her naps in the crate because Buddy tends to be too rough with her during play and they don’t leave each other alone even after they’re completely wrecked.

Buddy followed me as I ran about searching for my phone and my laptop, which I used to research the number for the nearest emergency vet clinic. I called them and was told to call their poison control hotline for pets first. I dialed the hotline quickly, but I was left to wallow in my sorrow for 20 minutes before someone picked up.

The lady who finally picked up my call asked what had happened, what his weight is (14 lbs), his health history, and so forth. After the questions, she said she’d be right back. When she returned, she explained that Buddy would’ve had to have eaten 4 teaspoons worth of onions to have a severe case.

Luckily the curry puff did not have 4 teaspoons worth of onions. I had torn open the second curry puff I had left in the fridge to investigate its contents during the earlier part of the phone call. She did tell me to keep an eye out for him becoming lethargic and that he’d probably have diarrhea. Since the curry puff disaster, Buddy has been peachy keen. No vomiting, no lethargy, and has only expelled partially soft logs yesterday night and this morning (yay for overshares!)

While I prepared there kibble and teaspoon of pumpkin (two teaspoons for Buddy) this morning, I let them frolic in the living room with the newly purchased cat gym I bought them. Honey loves it. It’s her base of operations during the unending battle between her and the over-sized tank that is Buddy.

After they played, they ate, and then napped. After the nap, I did what my husband rolls his eyes at. I put a lil’ Halloween costume on Honey and then proceeded to take a quick Halloween picture.

Buddy silently judges my actions. He is his father’s son.

Happy Halloween, everyone~

Sincerely,
Jenn

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The Road of Unknown

Life feels a bit weird now.

Back in high school, my mind had come to the understanding that a person can’t live without constant struggle. May seem weird but it’s a mentality based on what I’ve observed in life. My parents looked like they were always struggling.

I don’t expect that I will be free from struggle from now on but everything that caused me stress, pain and worry—I’ve let those go.

The freedom feels good but the uncertainty of the future pops up in my mind when things get quiet. My mom is worried about Sean’s and my finances. We don’t have a lot but we know how to budget when we have to. We could’ve saved but things were so rocky in life I felt like the need to actually enjoy ourselves was more important then hoarding money. Life is short and I don’t intend to force myself anymore to live it in a way I don’t want to.

I’m not worthless if I don’t have the type of job that people consider the norm. I’m not worthless if I’m not struggling through a job I hate allowing misery to ensnare me. I’m not worthless if I’m not making a lot of money. I’m not worthless when I make mistakes. I’m not worthless; it’s something I’ve had to teach myself.

I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve hurt and have been hurt. I won’t forget anything that I have done to myself or others. My mind won’t let me because I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I want to grow and breathe…and just enjoy this life.

I will create. What I create won’t be completely unique. It seems the only thing that can remain unique are the snow flakes that fall each year. But I hope what I create will be liked by whoever it speaks to. I hope I can make a small living out of these creations. I’ll be writing and I’ll be drawing. And when I get better at it, I’ll be making sculptures and jewelry.

I want a simple life that has simplistic meaning.

On a less deeper note, the puppy has been a handful. Buddy was stressed in the beginning but things have balanced out between them now. She’s feisty like my little Gidget and even more hyper and playful than Buddy. I’m happy with my family of doggos šŸ™‚

I don’t want people to think that I no longer want a child. I just have reached a realistic and practical point where I’ve let go of the need to control that aspect of my life. If it happens, it happens, right? Until then, I’ll have my sweet pups and family with soooo many children of their own. I’ll be seeing them soon. My parents, Gidget, and my aunts, uncles and cousins.

Anywho, here are photos of our fluffy rugrat:
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Sincerely,
Jenn

Mental Coasting

COMPLETELY allowing my mind to free itself from the urge to get preggers has done wonders. For those just tuning in, I had told the fertility clinic we’d have to put a pause to the whole IVF process because we can’t afford it. Even if we got some sort of loan or help…that’s a debt that’d loom over me horribly especially if it failed because there’s no compensation for our plan if it all failed.

Besides, it seems my obliviousness has ended the process at the fertility clinic already because I totally didn’t catch these emails until yesterday, lol:

You have 3 days left before your assigned due date to complete your educational module on the Fertility Patient Education Center! If you do not complete your module by the assigned due date, you may not be able to move forward with your treatment plan.

Whoops, lol. That was sent 5 days ago and had gotten buried under all sorts of AD emails from my fav stores as well as bill notifications. The time that I want to pause the process is like 3-4 years which is probably too long for them anyway.

Moving onward~ Pup update!Ā I wanted to go the doggie rescue route but had come across a nice lady whose dogs had pups and was willing to hold one for us until the last day at my job. NOTE: Down the road, once we get our own house, I am straight up rescuing a pup. Until then I’ll keep donating to Vet Ranch and other rescues.

And owning our own home doesn’t seem like a faraway thing either. My parents said one day they’d help us buy a plot of land near where they live. After that happens my plan is to purchase shipping containers and make a heavyweight bungalow, lol.

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Why heavy weight? Because heavy winds scare the poot out of me and we’re moving where heavy winds may occasionally occur once a year as the news has shown us.

Speaking of hurricanes, I’ve been researching who to donate to for all the reliefs. I’m looking at places at Salvation Army,Ā www.unitedway.org, http://www.hands.org, and http://www.bestfriends.org (pet rescue relief.) I like doing research before I donate. I want what I give to help people who need it and not get stored somewhere and forgotten or worse—be used to pay some CEO’s salary.

Changing subjects again because this is sort of momentous to me: removing things that caused me stress has apparently helped my back. Well, I’m not sure if it’s by coincidence but when things started feeling lighter mentally, my back felt like it was actually beginning to heal. Can stress actually deter the body from properly healing?

Anywho, my Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction isn’t so dysfunctional anymore. I feel the difference when walking and by the heavens is it amazing. Before, my nerve felt like it was dangling between two cogs and every other step the nerve was being pinched. It also felt like my pelvis area was cock-eyed. Everything that was messed up there kept me from bending, made walking/sitting painful, made getting up from bed painful or even laying back down. After laying down I’d have to wait 15 – 20 minutes for everything to sort of align itself away from my nerve.

I am one person who will never rush walking again. I am going to relish every moment of no pain while moving, lol.

Ah, and when we get the pup I’ll post up a pic with her and Buddy. šŸ™‚ The folks who have her currently named her BeeBee. Sean wants to name her Honey. I’m going to call her Honey Bee. šŸ˜›

Sincerely,
Jenn