Body Almost Self-Destructed

So, my gyno visit yielded the same results since that fateful day in 2013. Everything is normal except for the fact that type 4 Endometriosis is destroying my insides. But the difference now is that I’m going on birth control for 3 – 4 years non-stop! HAH! Take that, self-destructive uterus!

Sadly, the day I finally got my birth control is the day my menstrual cycle decided to stroll on up into the scene. I still took the birth control that day hoping that my cycle would get the hint and just dissipate. I didn’t want to endure another painful week of nausea, immobilizing pain, constant inflammation, and weakness.

While on birth control the first week, I was feeling some relief …though my sciatica was still battling the inflammation that usually comes with my cycle. It seemed my hormones were quite confused and were fighting the birth control. The annoying part was that I kept getting my knickers ruined because of spotting.

So I did what my gyno told me, “Should the blood persist, allow your period to occur for 4 days max.” I did this and I regret it.

It felt like my body was going haywire. Nothing was working as it should and dear god the pain. I was up every night, tossing and turning because every ounce of me hurt. My endometriosis is DEFINITELY affecting my sciatic nerve. It hurt to do anything. Sleep, walk, crawl, roll, stand… it was like my muscles were disintegrating and my joints and nerves were filled with needles.

Today is the fourth day. Very early in the morning I took the birth control despite still being in a somewhat heavy bleed. I couldn’t take anymore. The gyno had said that if it became too much to go back on the birth control. It was as if she knew the pain I’d be facing. =_= I just wish a voice from the future would’ve been like “Oh hey Jenn, just accept the bloody knickers for a few months until your hormones balance out. It’s better than feeling like you’re on Death’s door, trust me! K-bye!”

Right now I’m battling nausea from my stomach trying to process the birth control and Tylenol when it’s nearly empty. It hurt to eat and still hurts to eat. I let myself float in a hot bath for 20 minutes. This seemed to calm my muscles greatly and even lessened the pain of my ovaries. The weightlessness helped ease the nerve pain too since nothing was pressing on it. Thank the heavens for bathtubs.

Stomach feels sore though. Muscles feel sore too. Sciatic nerve is as delicate as a single strand of spider silk. The only upside is I no longer feel like I’m dying. Heh, I know I sound over-dramatic but seriously…this was the most painful endometriosis attack I’ve experienced in a long time. My body was not ready for it at all.

The constant dealing with pain and then the sudden wave of excruciating pain and lack of sleep turned me into a blubbering child this morning. Sean had listened and held me close while I cried out barely audible things ranging from “Damn endometriosis ruining my life” to “We could’ve had a baby if I didn’t have this. A wonderful baby!” I suppose I was in hysterics but my heart had let all that out. Constant physical and mental pain tears a person down. At least it tears me down. *shrugs* I try to be strong but I feel so weary.

I’m praying that this birth control will help diminish the growth of my endometriosis/cysts over time. I hope that my sciatic nerve will get a good chance to heal since I won’t be hounded monthly by horrible inflammation.

I am so thankful for Sean’s support. As well as the support of my furbabies. Buddy was seriously close to me the whole day today. He knew something was wrong. It’s amazing how perceptive animals are of their humans. Heck, I read an article yesterday of a family’s dog saving her owner’s life. The lady was pregnant and was experiencing a growing pain in her back.

“No one really understood how ill I was – but Keola did. She would nudge me and cry and I could never figure out why she had suddenly started doing this. Ricky said she was distraught whenever I went to work, when she had never minded before.”

Turned out the lady had double kidney infection which was causing the back pain. She and possibly the baby would’ve died if she kept ignoring the pain. But she went because of her dog’s weird behavior.

Another neat bit of info that I had found out was that dogs can sniff out cancer.

Thank goodness for dogs. ❤

sadcuddlybuddy

Sincerely,
Jenn

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