Uneasiness

There’s a painfully helpless feeling when you are unable to help the ones you love.

Some time ago, Sean’s mother said that they found something of concern with her last check up for cancer. This morning, Sean received news from his father about his mother’s lymph node tests. They apparently need to do more tests because they believe she may have some sort of cancer again.

Previously it was skin cancer that she had to deal with but overcame after surgery to remove sections where they found the cancer. I’m not sure if I heard Sean correctly this morning but I think he said “…if she does have something at least they caught it in her lungs early.” I have horrible hearing and I was too worried about him to have him repeat himself.

He’s clouded now. His mother is too because she didn’t want to talk about it and had went back to bed. I have this heavy weight on my chest filled with worry for Sean and anxiousness for his mother.

I wish I could do something. Anything that could help.

I want his mother to be okay. I want Sean to be okay. God I hope she’ll be okay.

I’m going to look for flights to Ireland this fall or early next year. Sean needs to be around his family.

Sincerely,
Jenn

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Recouping

It’s weird when you start reaching life goals you’ve made for yourself. I wanted to change the setting of my life and finally did. I wanted to be closer to family I haven’t seen in ages so I have. I wanted to start freelance work so I did though this wouldn’t have been possible without my parents and husband. Because of their support I can afford to work freelance and develop my creativity.

All these decisions changed the safe routine I had led for so long. I’m walking in unfamiliar territory. This place works on a different mindset and different expectations. The people here all run at a different pace which we wanted but we’ve had to slow down ourselves to get used to it. I’m used to things getting resolved quick but here it takes time.

Oh by the way, we got a big surprise that was long awaited. The letter from USCIS for Sean finally arrived. He got the big okay from the government. He’s now a lawful permanent resident ❤. I stressed like a mofo about the length of the process. Stressed about it possibly taking even longer because of the move. But, like all things I over-stress about, it worked itself out.

Oh, and it seems the subjects of babies and treatment have followed me. My family spoke about natural ways and research done by people of the faith that can help me with my endometriosis and having a baby. Though one lady shared her knowledge as a midwife (for 40 years btw, wow!) for products and a regimen to help become fertile and conceive for women who have endometriosis. I kept that information for when I even want to try and go down that path.

By the way, the idea of birth control for my current solution for my endometriosis doesn’t sound good to some of my family. Not sure if it’s because they’re catholic and the church views it as a no no. Or if because they think it’s unnatural.

For any new readers to my posts: Women afflicted with the uterine disorder, endometriosis, develop cysts and scarring each menstrual cycle. In a bit more detail, it is when the tissue that is normally on the inside of the uterus or womb grows outside of the uterus or womb where it doesn’t belong. In some definitions they claim that it rarely spreads beyond pelvic organs. Unfortunately, that is not the case for me. My stage 4 endometriosis is so aggressive that despite the surgeries and changes in diet and so forth, the cysts grew and spread too quickly.

The cysts and inflammation ruin everything. Within the past year it had developed to a point where my body couldn’t heal or function. I’d bruise so easily and the bruises took months to go away. And the even weirder part was my spine beginning to fall a part. I thought it was because I have minor scoliosis but there was more to it. The deterioration that was occurring was frightening and I don’t think those around me truly understood. I tried my best to explain but they don’t know how it feels. Endometriosis is still a foreign thing to them. I was in constant pain and felt like I was going to keel over at any moment.

Because of all that mayhem, I shrug off any negative views towards birth control.

Birth control allowed my period to stop which in turn stopped the cysts, scarring and inflammation. My bruises went away, my sciatica issues and back pain went away, my SI Joint dysfunction stopped, and my uterus began to heal. I could walk again and function again.

I was finally free from pain.

I don’t plan on staying on birth control forever and will find a better way to manage my endometriosis. And maybe I’ll join these endometriosis studies they have going on at some point… but not anytime soon. Like I’ve said before, I’m taking a break from it all. I need this time for recovering and growing in ways I didn’t allow myself to grow in due to fear and uncertainty.

Sincerely,
Jenn

Constant

Anxiety is just an everyday thing now. I’m trying so hard to get things done and do it all correctly and all the while I have this sense that I fek’d up somehow or that something is wrong or something bad will happen.

Sean and I applied for health insurance while he searches for a job. He has finally been getting responses to his resume so who knows how long we’ll be using the healthcare service. The priority though is that we need it asap since our previous insurance stopped coverage not long after we moved.

The health insurance marketplace we called seemed well enough but I was oh-so-lucky to get a newbie. As in, he made multiple mistakes to our application and left it pending so that when I tried to link the application to the account I had made on the healthgov site, it said that our application didn’t exist.

I called the main line and got directed to someone much more competent. He pretty much had to cancel the old, pending application, create us a new one and then linked our dental insurance to it as well because that was just floating somewhere unknown until I told him how much I had already paid for the dental coverage.

Something had felt a bit off with the first representative I talked with but I decided to put a little faith in him and believe all was well. All this did for me is make me realize to just go with my gut feeling and not continue working with a person if they’re showing signs of unreliability or incompetence.  Not only did he not send in our first application correctly, he made me ten years older by making a typo on my birth year! Then he gave my maiden name to Sean despite me repeating his last name was different and even SPELLING IT OUT FOR HIM. Sorry, this birth control keeps making me rage easily, lol. Anywho, the second representative fixed it all and now we’ll get coverage come June.

Another incident that increased my anxiety was one of Sean’s prospective jobs. The owner of the computer repair company seemed a bit out there in his email responses. There were signs that maybe he was a bit too out there. I checked up reviews on the man’s company and out of every 4-5 normal, good reviews there were 1-2 crazy “Hi, I’m on the Jerry Springer Show” type reviews of incidents that occurred during their encounter with the owner. I felt like impending doom would occur if Sean decided to go to the interview with this man this week.

Sean says he’s dealt with all sorts of crazies and can handle himself. He also assured me that he’ll gauge the owner and if things are too crazy to deal with then he’ll let it go and continue his search. I’ll be stressing about that crap until Sean comes back home from the interview.

Another stupid thing causing me strife is the puppy’s potty training. I think she’s equating our scolding to “I’m not allowed to poop” instead of “Don’t poop in the house.” So she’ll hold it until she can’t anymore and then just go right where she is. And even if we stop her halfway and rush her outside, she won’t actually finish her poop session and will instead frolic. I’m just scared she’ll never learn to poop outside. I never had any issues training my previous dogs. But she’s different. She processes things waaaay differently and I’m still trying figure out the best teaching method for her. I just hate having to keep wondering when she’ll decide to surprise poop and it’s exhausting to be paranoid about such a silly thing.

Literally everything I’ve griped about are all silly, petty things to stress about compared to what horrors are occurring outside my pocket of a world. But my brain and anxiety have been going into overdrive so often that I end up letting these things get to me.

I seriously wish I knew how to relax. Like I’ve only been able to partially relax since moving. My brain knows things have to get done so until they’re done I’m just like tense 85% of the time. *sigh*

Good news though, we go to go to the beach. Bad news, in our haste to enjoy the sea we accidentally let ourselves get burned in places we failed to put sunblock on, heh.

Sincerely,
Jenn

 

Now for the little things

All that stressing I did the past several months was, of course, for nothing. Good job, brain. I got sick after the move because of all that useless stressing.

I was worried about the apartment and my deposit being returned. I cleaned up and spruced up the apartment so well that barely anything got charged after the inspection. Our last bit of rent also got refunded because someone rented our apartment quickly. All that was taken from us in the end was $300. 👍

The drive over, which was a bit nerve wracking at first, was completely smooth. 14 hours in total, 2 of which we were stuck in crawl due to some accident that occurred earlier. Sean made it especially easy by being my co-pilot and having a GPS that didn’t think we were in the middle of France (thanks a lot old iPhone 5s.) When we finally reached my parents home, it felt like all the baggage I had been carrying the past two years just crumbled off.

We were greeted by 70 °F/21.11 °C weather. They claimed we brought the cold from the north, lol, and said to enjoy it while it lasted. Once summer hits, it’ll be like it was when I frolicked outside my grandparents home in the Philippines. Humidity and heat galore. Sean will hate it.

The area we moved to is very laid back. So laid back that it only took 20 minutes at the DMV to get my new license. The downside to this is that the job market is also laid back. There is growth but it’s slow. Sean may have to choose a retail job until a position in a job he truly wants is available again. I say “again” because he just missed this mass hiring for technicians that occurred the months prior.

I notified USCIS of the move, and learned all the things we’ll have to do should he have to extend the extension on his current green card. Vermont was where his case was held until the move. The pending time for cases there is up to 12 months. We only reached month ten. They are most likely transferring his case to California which handles the conditional residents located in Florida. Sadly, California’s office takes up to 15 months for a case. I have a feeling we’ll definitely have to renew his green card extension.

We’ve settled in pretty comfortably. I still have a mountain of things to sort through. I tried to get rid of what I could before moving but my mom was adamant about being present when sorting what I’m selling and what I’m donating. So there’s still a lot of crap in the garage.

The title of this post refers to silly things now that concern us. Mainly the potty training of a yorkie-poodle pup that just doesn’t seem to be sinking in. She is 9 months old. We received her at 4 months. She understood that peepads meant potty but also thought rugs mean potty. We’ve corrected her multiple times when she thought it was okay to peepoops inside the house. And rewarded her when she went outside. But she still thinks it’s okay to go inside. She had been making progress this past week but today she blew it all out the window.

The morning started out perfect. Took all three doggos out to go bathroom. They all did there peepoops and we went back inside to nap another hour before we make them brekky. The mayhem started when I let out the dogs again after our nap and brekky.

Buddy went crazy and decided to bark his head off at the dog next door to us who was also out to do his business. He was so consumed with his manly barking and bucking that he shredded mom’s plants in the process. She was upset. I was upset. I scolded him and brought him back inside. Honey thought she could continue his barkfest and returned to where Buddy had been and barked her head off. She was supposed to go potty again but was too distracted.

She spent the rest of the time running in circles and escaping me. When I finally got her back inside and laid her on the bed, she pees. Luckily, I had her training diaper on. Sean scolded her immediately. But then she also decided to make a tiny poo and Sean missed his chance to scold her.

Today is boot camp now. She’s currently in the smaller crate we own. When it’s time for designated peepoops I will let her outside to do her thing, give her a treat when she does her thing, and let her run off some energy. Until then, she will remain beside me in her crate throughout the day.

It didn’t have to be this way, Honey. You were doing so well but now I have to make it stick in your oblivious brain. I really wish you weren’t so slow, lol.

On a lighter note, here are the three musketeers reunited on the first night we arrived. It was a peaceful and happy night, lol.

IMG_1076

Steady Change

It’s a breath of fresh air when you’re able to go down a path in life without having to receive an imaginative but fully felt stack of bricks to the head. I’ve been pushing myself to fulfill my business dream: creating art, making people happy with said art, and still earn some cents for sustenance. Since things are tough money wise at the moment, the urge to have food was a strong enough incentive to get off my arse and stop being scared to sell my art. Though it was also the encouragement I received from friends and family that made me have just enough confidence to take the plunge.

Sean’s job is making him do more for less. He can’t earn is usual commissions that made bills easier to handle because they have him filling in for someone they fired yet did not find a replacement for. And their job is a key component to completing all the service repairs because he was the parts coordinator. And weirdly enough, he was the only one who knew how to do his job. WHY THE HECK DIDN’T THE MANAGER THINK ABOUT THIS??!!!??? ( Ò_Ó ) Now he has Sean trying to clean up all the mess while doing all the other crazy stuff he normally has to do.

*inhale exhale* sorry, had to let that out.

ANYWHO, my branching out into the internet world and advertising my capabilities has actually been a fun experience. People saw my work, liked the prices, and now I have commissions trickling in every now and then. It’s not a lot and I’m only making enough for a couple meals. Though the first couple weeks I had a big enough queue to afford groceries. The money I get from selling my art allows the money Sean makes to go mainly to bills.

You would think everything would be fine now but other bills like a spay for the pup and ultrasound for my insides are still making bills slightly difficult to manage. The good news is that the puppy is healthy and has healed well and my ultrasound showed, that thanks to my handy dandy birth control, my endometrioma cysts are no longer active. The fibroids are still there and I can feel them but not having to deal with constant pain and inflammation is EXTREMELY GREAT. Three to four years on birth control should help clean up the mess the disease caused to my insides a little bit. Maybe even help shrink the fibroids.

The next chapter of our lives is just around the corner. After we move, there will be less pressure from rent pay (current rent is $1590 which eats up the majority of the earnings) and a chance to relax with Sean. He plans to take a two week break before looking for a job. I pray things keep looking up.

To manage my stress, I’ve been playing a lot of Ark. It is a game that throws you into the world of dinosaurs and forces you to survive by gathering food and materials and creating items and structures to help protect you and your group. It appeases my need to build. In reality, I really wish to build a bungalow for the doggies, Sean and I to live in. I also want to build a camper van because I want to experience the outdoors but I’m spoiled so no tents. Unfortunately we can’t afford to do either, lol. Sooooo, video games it is. But one day, I will build and I’ll post pictures of our hard work. ❤

Other than all that jazz, I’ve been packing and purging. I have way too much crap, lol. I’m actually going back to packing stuff after I post this up.

Before I head out though I wanted to say thanks to each of you who have followed me and supported me through your words and presence. 🙂 It’s helped very much through the ups and downs.

Sincerely,
Jenn

 

 

It’s Been Awhile

When my body was suffering, I lost the drive and will to do anything though I knew fully well that I had to get shiz done. All I could remember was feeling pain and trying everything possible to stop it. I wanted to move again. Function again. It felt like no matter what I did, the pain wouldn’t stop intensifying and spreading.

Who knew the answer was me just finally going back on birth control, eh? Who knew that my endometriosis could make things a thousand times worse? It was stopping me from healing, walking, sleeping—it was slowly destroying me. I know I’ve said this before but when you go through something over and over again day after day it doesn’t just go away from the memory.

I didn’t want a hysterectomy. It isn’t a 100% way to stop endometriosis. Though it seems to have suppressed it enough that the women I’ve met don’t talk about any suffering. My gyno had suggested Lupron again and that they have a pill version now instead of a shot. But I don’t think I’m ready for induced menopausal symptoms.

The birth control has helped enough in stopping the inflammation and stopping from anymore cysts/growths developing inside me. I’m able to walk again. My spine is still fek’d up. More curved than before. But the pain has stopped. The sciatica has stopped.

It’s the kind of thing that would make a person fall onto their knees and cry happy tears. Before I was completely healed up, I became more active. I crafted a tree out of crafting foam and cardboard. I bought battery operated fairy and Christmas lights that were affordable and crafted some puppy stockings so I could stuff them with new doggie toys for Christmas day.

A few days before Christmas, I talked to a lady for 3 hours at the DMV. She said I needed a vacation since I’ve been through so much physical struggle in a short time. I agreed. I’ve needed a break for awhile. It’s so close.

I hope the heavens will let me have it.

I want to sink my toes into the sand. I want to feel a warm breeze. Please.

I hope this body will let me live a long life with those I love.

Sincerely,
Jenn

Body Almost Self-Destructed

So, my gyno visit yielded the same results since that fateful day in 2013. Everything is normal except for the fact that type 4 Endometriosis is destroying my insides. But the difference now is that I’m going on birth control for 3 – 4 years non-stop! HAH! Take that, self-destructive uterus!

Sadly, the day I finally got my birth control is the day my menstrual cycle decided to stroll on up into the scene. I still took the birth control that day hoping that my cycle would get the hint and just dissipate. I didn’t want to endure another painful week of nausea, immobilizing pain, constant inflammation, and weakness.

While on birth control the first week, I was feeling some relief …though my sciatica was still battling the inflammation that usually comes with my cycle. It seemed my hormones were quite confused and were fighting the birth control. The annoying part was that I kept getting my knickers ruined because of spotting.

So I did what my gyno told me, “Should the blood persist, allow your period to occur for 4 days max.” I did this and I regret it.

It felt like my body was going haywire. Nothing was working as it should and dear god the pain. I was up every night, tossing and turning because every ounce of me hurt. My endometriosis is DEFINITELY affecting my sciatic nerve. It hurt to do anything. Sleep, walk, crawl, roll, stand… it was like my muscles were disintegrating and my joints and nerves were filled with needles.

Today is the fourth day. Very early in the morning I took the birth control despite still being in a somewhat heavy bleed. I couldn’t take anymore. The gyno had said that if it became too much to go back on the birth control. It was as if she knew the pain I’d be facing. =_= I just wish a voice from the future would’ve been like “Oh hey Jenn, just accept the bloody knickers for a few months until your hormones balance out. It’s better than feeling like you’re on Death’s door, trust me! K-bye!”

Right now I’m battling nausea from my stomach trying to process the birth control and Tylenol when it’s nearly empty. It hurt to eat and still hurts to eat. I let myself float in a hot bath for 20 minutes. This seemed to calm my muscles greatly and even lessened the pain of my ovaries. The weightlessness helped ease the nerve pain too since nothing was pressing on it. Thank the heavens for bathtubs.

Stomach feels sore though. Muscles feel sore too. Sciatic nerve is as delicate as a single strand of spider silk. The only upside is I no longer feel like I’m dying. Heh, I know I sound over-dramatic but seriously…this was the most painful endometriosis attack I’ve experienced in a long time. My body was not ready for it at all.

The constant dealing with pain and then the sudden wave of excruciating pain and lack of sleep turned me into a blubbering child this morning. Sean had listened and held me close while I cried out barely audible things ranging from “Damn endometriosis ruining my life” to “We could’ve had a baby if I didn’t have this. A wonderful baby!” I suppose I was in hysterics but my heart had let all that out. Constant physical and mental pain tears a person down. At least it tears me down. *shrugs* I try to be strong but I feel so weary.

I’m praying that this birth control will help diminish the growth of my endometriosis/cysts over time. I hope that my sciatic nerve will get a good chance to heal since I won’t be hounded monthly by horrible inflammation.

I am so thankful for Sean’s support. As well as the support of my furbabies. Buddy was seriously close to me the whole day today. He knew something was wrong. It’s amazing how perceptive animals are of their humans. Heck, I read an article yesterday of a family’s dog saving her owner’s life. The lady was pregnant and was experiencing a growing pain in her back.

“No one really understood how ill I was – but Keola did. She would nudge me and cry and I could never figure out why she had suddenly started doing this. Ricky said she was distraught whenever I went to work, when she had never minded before.”

Turned out the lady had double kidney infection which was causing the back pain. She and possibly the baby would’ve died if she kept ignoring the pain. But she went because of her dog’s weird behavior.

Another neat bit of info that I had found out was that dogs can sniff out cancer.

Thank goodness for dogs. ❤

sadcuddlybuddy

Sincerely,
Jenn

Mother of three dogs

Part of me is glad I don’t have a child yet. I would probably be dead within months if I did because the range of my freak-outs now just for my furbabies alone is over 9000.  And every new freak out brings about more uncontrollable emotion and more tears.

Buddy gave me a scare yesterday.

I had ordered Thai food the day before and thought it’d be great to have a curry puff for brekky yesterday morning. The amount of curry stuffed into these puff pastries is about the size of a golf ball. Not a whole lot but a nice, delicious appetizer. I had eaten a third of mine before I had gotten up to check the door after there was a knock.

Low and behold, the Amazon delivery folk left a long awaited package for me. I picked up the package of puppy pee pads and enzymatic pet toothpaste and settled it down on the counter. I opened it to see if everything was in order and then a thought struck me. “Why are the dogs so quiet?” I usually close the bedroom door when I go to answer the front door so Buddy doesn’t end up barking down whoever dared to knock on our door. And while Buddy is stuck in the bedroom there is usually non-stop whining and howling.

But this time, it was complete silence.

Oh, god… my puff!

I rush inside the bedroom to see the remainder of my curry puff gone and Buddy right above the bowl it was in. He was still licking his chops when I cried out “NO!” and began my barrage of tears as I recalled that onions were in the curry puff. The dramatic equation my mind created is as follows: onions + cats/dogs = possible death.

Side note: Honey was safe and sound in her crate during all this. She takes her naps in the crate because Buddy tends to be too rough with her during play and they don’t leave each other alone even after they’re completely wrecked.

Buddy followed me as I ran about searching for my phone and my laptop, which I used to research the number for the nearest emergency vet clinic. I called them and was told to call their poison control hotline for pets first. I dialed the hotline quickly, but I was left to wallow in my sorrow for 20 minutes before someone picked up.

The lady who finally picked up my call asked what had happened, what his weight is (14 lbs), his health history, and so forth. After the questions, she said she’d be right back. When she returned, she explained that Buddy would’ve had to have eaten 4 teaspoons worth of onions to have a severe case.

Luckily the curry puff did not have 4 teaspoons worth of onions. I had torn open the second curry puff I had left in the fridge to investigate its contents during the earlier part of the phone call. She did tell me to keep an eye out for him becoming lethargic and that he’d probably have diarrhea. Since the curry puff disaster, Buddy has been peachy keen. No vomiting, no lethargy, and has only expelled partially soft logs yesterday night and this morning (yay for overshares!)

While I prepared there kibble and teaspoon of pumpkin (two teaspoons for Buddy) this morning, I let them frolic in the living room with the newly purchased cat gym I bought them. Honey loves it. It’s her base of operations during the unending battle between her and the over-sized tank that is Buddy.

After they played, they ate, and then napped. After the nap, I did what my husband rolls his eyes at. I put a lil’ Halloween costume on Honey and then proceeded to take a quick Halloween picture.

Buddy silently judges my actions. He is his father’s son.

Happy Halloween, everyone~

Sincerely,
Jenn

The Road of Unknown

Life feels a bit weird now.

Back in high school, my mind had come to the understanding that a person can’t live without constant struggle. May seem weird but it’s a mentality based on what I’ve observed in life. My parents looked like they were always struggling.

I don’t expect that I will be free from struggle from now on but everything that caused me stress, pain and worry—I’ve let those go.

The freedom feels good but the uncertainty of the future pops up in my mind when things get quiet. My mom is worried about Sean’s and my finances. We don’t have a lot but we know how to budget when we have to. We could’ve saved but things were so rocky in life I felt like the need to actually enjoy ourselves was more important then hoarding money. Life is short and I don’t intend to force myself anymore to live it in a way I don’t want to.

I’m not worthless if I don’t have the type of job that people consider the norm. I’m not worthless if I’m not struggling through a job I hate allowing misery to ensnare me. I’m not worthless if I’m not making a lot of money. I’m not worthless when I make mistakes. I’m not worthless; it’s something I’ve had to teach myself.

I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve made many mistakes. I’ve hurt and have been hurt. I won’t forget anything that I have done to myself or others. My mind won’t let me because I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I want to grow and breathe…and just enjoy this life.

I will create. What I create won’t be completely unique. It seems the only thing that can remain unique are the snow flakes that fall each year. But I hope what I create will be liked by whoever it speaks to. I hope I can make a small living out of these creations. I’ll be writing and I’ll be drawing. And when I get better at it, I’ll be making sculptures and jewelry.

I want a simple life that has simplistic meaning.

On a less deeper note, the puppy has been a handful. Buddy was stressed in the beginning but things have balanced out between them now. She’s feisty like my little Gidget and even more hyper and playful than Buddy. I’m happy with my family of doggos 🙂

I don’t want people to think that I no longer want a child. I just have reached a realistic and practical point where I’ve let go of the need to control that aspect of my life. If it happens, it happens, right? Until then, I’ll have my sweet pups and family with soooo many children of their own. I’ll be seeing them soon. My parents, Gidget, and my aunts, uncles and cousins.

Anywho, here are photos of our fluffy rugrat:
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Sincerely,
Jenn

Mental Coasting

COMPLETELY allowing my mind to free itself from the urge to get preggers has done wonders. For those just tuning in, I had told the fertility clinic we’d have to put a pause to the whole IVF process because we can’t afford it. Even if we got some sort of loan or help…that’s a debt that’d loom over me horribly especially if it failed because there’s no compensation for our plan if it all failed.

Besides, it seems my obliviousness has ended the process at the fertility clinic already because I totally didn’t catch these emails until yesterday, lol:

You have 3 days left before your assigned due date to complete your educational module on the Fertility Patient Education Center! If you do not complete your module by the assigned due date, you may not be able to move forward with your treatment plan.

Whoops, lol. That was sent 5 days ago and had gotten buried under all sorts of AD emails from my fav stores as well as bill notifications. The time that I want to pause the process is like 3-4 years which is probably too long for them anyway.

Moving onward~ Pup update! I wanted to go the doggie rescue route but had come across a nice lady whose dogs had pups and was willing to hold one for us until the last day at my job. NOTE: Down the road, once we get our own house, I am straight up rescuing a pup. Until then I’ll keep donating to Vet Ranch and other rescues.

And owning our own home doesn’t seem like a faraway thing either. My parents said one day they’d help us buy a plot of land near where they live. After that happens my plan is to purchase shipping containers and make a heavyweight bungalow, lol.

shipping-container-homes.jpg

Why heavy weight? Because heavy winds scare the poot out of me and we’re moving where heavy winds may occasionally occur once a year as the news has shown us.

Speaking of hurricanes, I’ve been researching who to donate to for all the reliefs. I’m looking at places at Salvation Army, www.unitedway.org, http://www.hands.org, and http://www.bestfriends.org (pet rescue relief.) I like doing research before I donate. I want what I give to help people who need it and not get stored somewhere and forgotten or worse—be used to pay some CEO’s salary.

Changing subjects again because this is sort of momentous to me: removing things that caused me stress has apparently helped my back. Well, I’m not sure if it’s by coincidence but when things started feeling lighter mentally, my back felt like it was actually beginning to heal. Can stress actually deter the body from properly healing?

Anywho, my Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction isn’t so dysfunctional anymore. I feel the difference when walking and by the heavens is it amazing. Before, my nerve felt like it was dangling between two cogs and every other step the nerve was being pinched. It also felt like my pelvis area was cock-eyed. Everything that was messed up there kept me from bending, made walking/sitting painful, made getting up from bed painful or even laying back down. After laying down I’d have to wait 15 – 20 minutes for everything to sort of align itself away from my nerve.

I am one person who will never rush walking again. I am going to relish every moment of no pain while moving, lol.

Ah, and when we get the pup I’ll post up a pic with her and Buddy. 🙂 The folks who have her currently named her BeeBee. Sean wants to name her Honey. I’m going to call her Honey Bee. 😛

Sincerely,
Jenn